”“Of course I can, sir. Not a problem whatsoever.”“Well, yes, I’m sure they would be most interested. Very kind of you, Captain.”Girl’s brow furrowed at once.“No, sir, no. Thank you for thinking of me. Yes, sir. No problem. Good night, Captain.”Girl took the phone from Tommy and replaced it on the wall.“Tommy, what? I don’t want you to go. It’s our special time now. Don’t go, Tommy. Make him stay, Cully.”“No, Girl, listen. Ssshhh.”She’d already started vibrating in place. Tommy would have to hustle, or she’d start crying.“Remember, you were going to take me shopping first thing in the morning.”“Honey, listen: I have good news and even better news. I have to pull a shift tomorrow evening, yes. And the better news? Who’s up for a drive-along?”“What is that, Tommy?”I knew, but I let the cop tell her. It was Tommy’s news. They were both so happy I thought he was going to pick her up again, but they settled for a hug.“Wow, I don’t believe it. Do I get to sit in the front seat with you,. Although there is no right or wrong side to these cultures, when the two are brought together it usually makes for unpleasantness for the giver. While the asker fails to see the harm in asking, the giver feels it’s rude to deny a request. This results in the giver giving up things or favors he doesn’t really want to just to keep decorum. Many times the asker has no idea he is overstepping the bounds of courtesy thus insulting the giver even further. Often the asker fails to understand the subtle hints and feelers the giver is sending and thus neglects to offer said favor. Their standard line when approached about this is, ‘all he had to do was ask’ something the giver is loath to do. As I look at these two cultures, it is not hard for me to see why my first marriage failed, as she definitely was an asker and I am a staunch giver. To exacerbate the problem I was head over heels in love with her and all I wanted was to give her the world. As for her, she always felt I could always say.
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